Jacket - aryn K. / Sweater - Splendid / Tuxedo Tank - Wilt / Harem Pants - F21 / Boots - Dolce Vita
It wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I should begin applying this same attitude to other parts of my life. A friend and colleague emailed me with questions regarding my diet and ways to be healthier. I still think it's funny that people come to me with these questions considering I fail at being healthy much more than I am successful. In my response, I finished by telling her that my rules are just guidelines that have helped me be more conscious of what I'm eating. They are not meant to make you feel bad about yourself if you don't follow them. I told her to be gentle with herself.
I just finished up a class for my master's program and will begin another on Monday. I got my final grade back: 95. Good but it's not a 96 - what I would consider a high A. I was home alone that night and my stomach began knotting up as I sat on the couch with disappointment. No, I didn't get the grade I wanted. But I got a very good grade. I should have been more gentle with myself.
Growing up, I learned the power of positive and negative self-talk the hard way. I had to learn to consciously reverse negative thoughts about myself in order to calm my nerves and feelings of panic. But I still have a hard time being gentle - to my mind, body and soul. But am I not worthy of a little tenderness? Aren't we all?
Being gentle with yourself isn't the same as making excuses. Continue to work hard and continue to set goals. But when you fall short of those goals, remind yourself that it really is okay in the grand scheme of things. That you will try again next time and that next time is just as good as this time. Chatter doesn't just exist when one meditates. We are always chattering to ourselves and more often than we realize the chatter is hurting our selves. You are worthy of being good to yourself as much as you are worthy of others being good to you.
I will continue my meditation practice and will one day be able to ignore the chatter altogether. A 95 is a really good grade and a point lower than what I expected is a small price to pay for the nights I took off from studying to spend with loved ones. And it was a genuine mistake that I forgot to ask for no mayo on that vegan sandwich I tried to order a couple of days ago. There's always next time and in the meantime, I tried. And that's good enough.
9 comments:
I love your outfit but I think I need to read your blog at least once a day every day for a long long time and I am sending a link to this blog to my daughter who needs it as much as I do. Thank you so much for it.
Excellent advice and too easily forgotten. I must read this often. The layered greys are lovely.
The neutral tones create a beautiful picture and you look so warm! (It's freezing here again)
There's definite truth to what you've said, especially in grad school when there is an incredible amount of constant pressure and very little room for mistakes. It's insane but worth it even though I feel guilty every time I take time off ; ) Stay positive!
What great advice Christen. I am my own worst enemy and am so hard on myself so reading this really hit home to me. Thank you for the inspirational and encouraging thoughts! and you look gorgeous ;)
1) glad to see you blogging again 2) love the boots 3) i'm certainly guilty of not being gentle with myself... excellent food for thought. (and now back I'm back to studying)
I am guilty for being really rough on myself and like the saying goes - I'm my own worst enemy. I definitely need to find a way to not beat myself up so bad, but as you know sometimes it's better said than done.
Glad you've found an outlet through meditating. That's how I feel about yoga, but given an ankle issue I'm limited on the amount of yoga I can do these days.
You should definitely be more gentle with yourself. I think people are always their own worst critic, which is perfectly normal but can also be a little self-destructive. And as you said, on the grand scale of things, these 'setbacks' aren't actually that big a deal (I'm certain few future employers will actually look at individual grades).
The good news is that I give your outfit a 96. And I am so glad you are back,... may I borrow that Vivienne westwood jacket from the last post? xo haha
I can totally relate to this. I am so hard on myself whenever I do not get the goal that I set myself out to do. I'm still learning too to be kinder and gentler on myself... Great post!
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